innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

As he looked at Hark in his doorway to his room he felt guilty for being to see the people he loved and the others tributes couldn't. Zander loved the house but it was that feeling of guilt that was keeping him from enjoying it. The image of throwing the dagger at Ramsey and then at that poor Iris's throat just kept going." Hey Hark...Come in, Sit." The victor scooted over on his bed even though it wasn't needed. The bed was big enough to easily it two if he hadn't moved. His ears heard that Hark was worried about him. Zander had heard the same from his sister about his attitude change. He wanted to be happy for them....but the guilt had him chained and anchored with the weight of now being a mentor." You sound like Zarah." He let a laugh come out but it was not joyful...just sort of forced and hollow. His smile was also forced as Zander was just scared about the weight of being a mentor and the guilt of living. Zander looked at Harks eyes when he heard the boy ask if it was him. " No no no....its not you...its just.. " A sigh escaped his lips." I need somebody to hug me and to talk too." The young victor looked at Hark sort of asking for a hug before putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands sighing into them sad and gloomy." I think that person should be you Hark." He mumbled sniffling into his hands.

innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

Zander was expecting possible anger with possible crying. What he had done could be unforgivable but hopefully Hark could understand. He thought he was going to die and he didn't want his last to be with someone he didn't care about? That sounded stupid and as if he had fallen in love again...which he had but he was just emotionally torn at the moment. The dark eyes boy looked at Hark with confusion at his joke. He must of not understood.. and now he would have to explain or make it clear. This made him afraid and feel sadden so." My sweet Hark....what i mean is...I had.. " He let a sigh out as this was hard for him to want to tell him. But he had too. "I had sex...with someone is what i mean." The words fumbled out as he looked at his face trying to see if it would hint how he would take it." Hark.. I'm so sorry that I did." Guilt came over him more with a wave."Please...please forgive me." He spoke with sadden eyes as he looked his eyes.

innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

Zander could only listen to Hark's reaction. It was understandable for him to react this way. Zander expected this and only listened as Hark talked until he was asked a question. He didn't want to say anything else that could easily make this worse." I know you name is Hark...and no I didn't." His brown eyes watched Hark as he faced the hall. His eyes were filled with guilty tears as he started to speak." It was the new escort. I was just drunk and scared after being used by the district three tribute." He looked down at his token with the wave of guilt and then looking at Harks back again." I-I was just scared and drunk... " Zander felt horrible but he hoped Hark could forgive him for the wrong he did. It wasn't like he could not have escaped that restroom. He had went along annoyingly for a alliance that didn't even happen. What happened with Fabian... that was liquor and feelings for him that Zander was so confused about.

innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

Zander continued to look at Harks back. He was hesitant with words now that he got the message of how he felt. He probably felt betrayed of Zander's actions. The brown eyed lad had thought Hark always stayed true and this is how he repaid him. If only Hark had been there...or known what Zanders feelings were in that if I die moment. Getting off the soft bed and standing now looking at Hark's back still."I wanted it to be with you." He spoke but it if Zander didn't think he was going to forgive him. What was the point in trying? Because he still loved Hark that's why. The next state urked Zander to the point of driving him to walk past Hark and facing him while he was in hall with both hands both sides of the doorway." No I'm not using you." Looking into the eyes while he spoke his statement. " I'm not sleeping with you when your under the influence and emotionally torn into a million pieces." Zander felt like maybe if he could get Hark to understand the circumstances that he could understand. He had been drunk and shattered into pieces and he had sex with Fabian when he was torn.. Hark didn't need to know that he had grown feelings for Fabian. Right now Zander just wanted Harks forgiveness and he thought maybe that everything else would be ok." I didn't decide... I was under the influence and in a emotional storm." His eyes begging as he stayed in the doorway not wanting Hark to storm off if this kept going the way it did. "Your the only one I want to be with Hark"

innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

Zander was trying to not cry. Part of it was because he could tell that Hark seemed emotionally torn. Like he did when the cause of this problem happened. He felt horrible for having done it and now that he saw what he caused he would never do it again. It wasn't like he had gotten up and said HEY I'm going to cheat on the person I love. But he still did it.. and it changed everything." Yes he knows this.. he felt bad about it as well." Zander was referring to the way Fabian had wanted him and Hark to get back together. To not let him or anything else tear them apart. Zander hoped to the sky that Hark could forgive him. He knew he would probably need time and that It wouldn't just happen but Zander could wait. Zander would wait however long it took until he was back with Hark. He loved him and didn't want to let him go. Tears wanted to spew down the boys eyes but he kept wiping them quickly. Then he heard Hark sound as if he was questioning the kiss he gave him when he got his token and hearing the words I love you Zander Zalver. It was the truth now that he still loved Hark Warner.. if only Hark would still love him for his wrong and forgive. " When I kissed you it was so real. I meant everything in that magical moment...and I mean everything now." Zander looked at Hark now that he had walked around him and was facing him it was easier talking to him now that he knew he wouldn't just leave in the midst of this. Even though he had all right to do so. Zander didn't know how to reply to asking if he loved Fabian. It was the truth.. but Zander had fallen for Hark first without the stress of the games and the feeling of dyeing. Maybe it had all just been the emotion feeling of thinking he was dyeing that made him want Fabian." I had feelings for him.. I wont lie to you Hark.. But I have had and still do have feelings for you longer and without the fear of the games.. "

innocence? that's just
another person's
slideshow.

Zander just listend to Hark speak so sad and torn. Tears spewed out of the victors eyes as he realized the person he loved was heart broken. Before the games Zander a angel....innocent in the way he had never done anything besides kissing and innocent in not hurting anybody. He came back a murderer. He had killed to survive and come back to his home. To his family and friends and his love Hark and now that he had told him what happened with Fabian he wanted a break. Zander still would wait for him as long as it took. It was all so confusing for him to try telling and explaining. " Hark everything you've done for me has meant more then he could do....I was just...just" He managed to get out. Tears making rivers on his cheek as the typhoon  of guilt and sadness hit him with a side of I still love you hurricane. As Hark walked past him Zander followed him to the front door." Fine take all the time...but you need to know." His voice went into a yell when Hark left the house and he was distracted for a moment by his sister asking what happened." Hark wants a break." He spoke sad and wanting to cry but he had to try getting this message across. Zander ran to catch up with Hark at the gates to the victors village.  Reaching out his hand and grabbing Harks hands facing him and looking at him straight on." You need to know that your the only guy for me Hark Warner... the first guy I have ever kissed and the last guy I will ever kiss. If that means I have to wait to be with you then I will wait till I die. I just want you Hark." It was true Zander loved Hark without the emotions of the games and he couldn't be with Fabian even if he had had caring and confusing feelings for him. He had made his mind that he wanted to be with Hark. Forever and Always.